Missed Acting Class...

Jared,

I think you can catch-up on the combat, but the other stuff was experiential. I hope you know that you can always observe class if you are physically unable to participate.

You are an excellent student and I know that this not the beginning of some kind of discipline melt-down. Take care of yourself, rest-up and I look forward to seeing you on Tuesday.

Love, Christia

____________________________


Good Afternoon / Evening everyone, depending on when you read this...

My absense from Acting class this morning was inexcusable, and I apologize profusely for not showing up. Because of the interesting setup of my schedule, Stage combat and Ballet happen to fall on the same day, a mere 2 hours apart from eachother. Needless to say, my body takes a beating on Tuesdays and Thursdays; and because of my inability to take a regular dance / movement class this summer because of work, I'm out of shape in terms of my flexibility and strength to sustain stretches properly.

When I woke up this morning, having gone to bed quite late because of various reading assignments for Friday's classes, long story short, my legs, specifically my calves wouldn't have it. They pretty much siezed up and only after a half an hour of IcyHot and Tiger Balm was I able to function properly. Physical combat: falls, rolls, stuff like that, I figured would pretty much send me into another cramp-episode and I didn't want to cause a scene and take from class time to put my legs up and detract attention, because that would be ridiculous.

Last night and today has seriously been a series of odd events, getting to bed so late but getting so much done, and waking up obliterated of energy and having my body say, "uh.. no.... You're not moving."

Again, I'm aware this is an excuse, and there is no excuse to not making it to class. But I wanted to let you know that it wasn't a rebellious spirit that arose this morning that made me not come to class, because I love Stage Combat, and I supremely enjoy being physically active, it's just a matter of getting back into the physical swing of things and what my body can handle.

Thank you for understanding, It won't happen again.




Jared M. Brown

... I be Rollin'... I be Spottin'... Rollin' tryin'ta catch me rollin' dirty...

Tryin'ta catch me combat rollin'. Tryin'ta catch me combat rollin'.

After warming up (which was a lot easier, btw), we reviewed our front falls (front and back), and back falls (left and right) for a little, which I actually remembered, and I was pretty happy. We then moved onto the mats and practiced rolling, which is about the craziest thing in the world. And crazy cool at the same time. We started out in a genuflecting position and rolling slowly, but it's pretty hard to do it without the momentum of going into it, so it was pretty difficult at first, but as we went through the lines and brought us up to speed the falls progressed into what looked to actually be falls.

Then we started from a standing position, which was FREAKING scary. I've always had a fear of falling, a fear of combat, a fear of just about everything when it comes to combat, and this slow entrance into it is making me feel better. But the standing roll was nuts. It took a bit of watching Rachel at first to get it, but it did eventually get engrained into my body. Which is hard. Getting things into my muscle memory is probably harder than pinching coal to get a diamond. It takes me FOREVER. Consequently, it's the same with dancing, and choreography takes a little while to become engrained into my muscles.

But I felt really good about myself when I was practicing the falls, and everything slowly got into me. I need a LOOT more practice on it though, which is why I'm going tonight after practice to work on my falls in the studio all on my lonesome. I might bring someone just in case, but I should be fine. I'm looking forward to being able to just randomly be standing somewhere be pushed and fall into a fall like that and get back up and turn around and say, "WHAT BETCH?"

So, Rolling, in short was a blast.

Tryin'ta catch me combat rollin'. Tryin'ta catch me combat rollin'.

I'm certainly the bunny this time around...

Well, first day of rehearsal down, and all 9 hours in its splendor. Feels like 40 passed in that time though. Holy COW.

My initial causes for concern: My Voice, and landing the role as a sophomore and people being slightly caddy and bitter towards me. Well. One was a cause for concern, but the other was not. My voice by the time this day was over was in okay-to-fine condition, but high-notes were completely lost. It was troubling, and it was horrific, and I'm glad I don't have the capacity to look inside my throat and see the mechanism, becuase if I showed my face in that part of town, they'd for sure shoo me out and curse and yell. I didn't destroy it like I usually do, when in fact I consciously took it easier than I could have for the beginning of the rehearsal and for the most part took care of it. I got a lot of positive feedback about my being Bobby, to be honest. People were okay with it.

I was scared. I was frightened something terrible when I heard that I got the part. In all honesty, I'm not vocally cut out for the part. I make myself cut out for the part with some stretch and strain here and there, but I'm not as gifted in the higher range as Taylor who can comfortably hit a High B sitting DOWN in his chair, (which is ridiculous). It takes my voice a looooong time to get to a point where it can do shit like that without thinking. Warming up properly, and carefully is incredibly touchy with my voice. I'm a belter, who only has a limited amount of Belt to cinch in a performance, and when it runs out, the rest of my voice seems to cascade down in quality as well unless I do things just right. It's rather strange, and there's no telling what my voice will choose to do on most days. But I'll tell you what it HAS to do. It has to be ready for this show. And it will be. There's no worry in that.

The rehearsal was pretty intense today. We went through the entire score singing every song, with every part whether we knew it or not, becuase we didn't really have a choice. We open in less than 4 weeks, and we've got one fuck-ton of work to do until then to be ready. The run of a show is always such a fast thing in my mind, and before it your normal 6 or 7 week process is over and it's opening night. But with this 4 week process, it's simply terrifying. simply TERRIFYING how quickly we're moving. We fuckin' SANG ALL DAY! That's absurd! We started at 10am and ended with breaks at 10. There's no way one would be expected to HAVE a voice again that next morning, or later on that evening based on the rehearsal we had. It was NUTS. But it was fun, and it was exciting to see everyone in the same room together, and living co-habitationally...

And I'm falling asleep. *laughs* I'm certainly falling asleep. Right. Now. At the computer typing random syllables into the keyboard with my eyes shut, being so exhausted I don't know when to quit. But I will for tonight. Because today was juuust to much for me. And I don't know what time church is in the morning, and I'm pretty sure I'm skipping it.

dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

See? That's what I just wrote falling asleep. Without even knowing it.

I was trying to think of what I learned, and I drifted off. I learned a lot today, about singing, sustaining breath, about people, about actually researching a Musical so you have a sense of what the hell the show is about... about some people's lack of that skill. About my own lack of everything that matters in musical theatre. Ugh.

Doubts. Just utter and confounded doubts about my ability to pull this mother load of a show off. My mind is full of them, but they have faith in me and my voice, and my body, and my potential, so I have to trust them on it. I just need some time to figure out everything right now.

Alas.


Goodnight!

In the words of Gene Autrey...

Back in the saddle again, as it were. Along with the first day of 'normal' classes, we also delved into our Acting class today for the first time as well, focusing this year more on settling into our bodies and reaching a relaxed energy, as Christia emphasized. That thought of a relaxed energy really gets me excited, to be honest. I'm a very nervous actor, who gets himself worked up to all ends before auditions, evensofaras throwing up before Generals (like I did yesterday) and loosing lines that I haven't ever had trouble with (also what happened yesterday during my Chekhov piece). I've always been nervous, and I've always been an overactor and this year is all about overcoming that. Last year was all about letting go, and I think I at least touched on that a little if not through acting class, through One Last Hope for the Lonely. That final moment... geeze it still gives me goosebumps. And not being in any condition afterwards to go greet people, being so shaken still has me in disbelief that it was me, and I actually approached that level of comittment. It was an extraordinary year in my life last year, and although I'm not planning on replicating it, I'm hoping it will be just as interesting and full of growth for me as an actor and as a human.

My body is the most uncomfortable part about myself, hands down. I've always felt amiss about myself in the body department. Things I thought can work, just... don't. Like Ballet, like certain dancing moves, like anything involving movement. It just feels awkward and unlike myself to be doing, and that scares me, and it always has. I've just given up several times on myself to be honest. I wanted nothing more than to be a dancer, honestly. I wanted to just be able to leap in the air, split my legs to no end, and watch people's eyes get big at how flexible and how graceful I am. *sound of record halting* Yeah. Didn't happen. *laughs*

But a more approachable goal through being comfortable with my body will certainly be with Stage combat. And although I'm not very good, I'm getting better. With an amazing coach like Rachel Mock and Christia, it shouldn't be too hard. They allow me to ask LOTS of questions, and give me plenty of time to work on my own with it, and that's what I need.

Today we did falls, both forwards and backwards on both legs. It was great, because I actually had time to work it through on my own, without having to put it into a show that night (i.e. One Last Hope... ugh). It's really quite simple, and it just takes time for your body to get that muscle memory down, that's all. The back fall is my favorite, though, and I'm becoming good at it. I was partnered with Ben Khare today and we practiced knaps with the backwards falls. We were actually used as an example couple because we quickly grasped the method (which was kind of humbling and gave me something to take with me in the pride department).

It was good, too. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of work to get over falling to the floor and not having anyone there to catch me, but it was a step in the right direction... *raises eyebrow* backwards, of course...

We practiced our warm-up and added quite a few different moves to the classical physical warm-up, and I'm really grateful. When we did our warm-ups last semester we focused solely on the voice with a few physical exercised here and there to help with the warming process, but quite honestly, my voice doesn't turn on until my body has been active, and kind of sweating for a little bit. So, I'm basically exstatic about the whole prospect of having a solid vocal warm-up and a solid physical warm-up to draw from now.

My thoughts and reactions for today? What is the class going to be like... Scene wise, i'm rather curious as to how things will pan out, because we have an interesting bunch of people this semester and most of which I haven't worked with yet. That makes me just plain nervous, to be honest. And on top of that, I'm rather nervous about the whole sophomore 'thing.' The prospect of being watched like a hawk this year to see how I'm dedicated to my art, to be judged every day on my work and my passion for the thing that I plan on doing for the rest of my life (or a significant chunk, at least). It's nerve-wracking, that's all. And I'm scared. As I always am. But I'll be brave this year, on my own, significanly independent in my single room over in Hale, all alone, and away from the hoop-haw of Moore and the theatre folks. I plan on working my ass off in every spare second to get my work done, to keep my grades up, and to stay above everything. I have some hella-fucking hard classes this semester, and the prospect of getting behind doesn't exist because I will drown and fail if I don't keep my head above the water, and keep reminding myself that I have one job this year. Not to get tied down with boys, or any other superfluous distractions that may arise. I have school on my mind, and until I graduate, that's what I'll be thinking of.



Acting. *laughs* ACTING!!!!! STELLAAAAA!

Jared. M. Brown