I'm certainly the bunny this time around...
Well, first day of rehearsal down, and all 9 hours in its splendor. Feels like 40 passed in that time though. Holy COW.
My initial causes for concern: My Voice, and landing the role as a sophomore and people being slightly caddy and bitter towards me. Well. One was a cause for concern, but the other was not. My voice by the time this day was over was in okay-to-fine condition, but high-notes were completely lost. It was troubling, and it was horrific, and I'm glad I don't have the capacity to look inside my throat and see the mechanism, becuase if I showed my face in that part of town, they'd for sure shoo me out and curse and yell. I didn't destroy it like I usually do, when in fact I consciously took it easier than I could have for the beginning of the rehearsal and for the most part took care of it. I got a lot of positive feedback about my being Bobby, to be honest. People were okay with it.
I was scared. I was frightened something terrible when I heard that I got the part. In all honesty, I'm not vocally cut out for the part. I make myself cut out for the part with some stretch and strain here and there, but I'm not as gifted in the higher range as Taylor who can comfortably hit a High B sitting DOWN in his chair, (which is ridiculous). It takes my voice a looooong time to get to a point where it can do shit like that without thinking. Warming up properly, and carefully is incredibly touchy with my voice. I'm a belter, who only has a limited amount of Belt to cinch in a performance, and when it runs out, the rest of my voice seems to cascade down in quality as well unless I do things just right. It's rather strange, and there's no telling what my voice will choose to do on most days. But I'll tell you what it HAS to do. It has to be ready for this show. And it will be. There's no worry in that.
The rehearsal was pretty intense today. We went through the entire score singing every song, with every part whether we knew it or not, becuase we didn't really have a choice. We open in less than 4 weeks, and we've got one fuck-ton of work to do until then to be ready. The run of a show is always such a fast thing in my mind, and before it your normal 6 or 7 week process is over and it's opening night. But with this 4 week process, it's simply terrifying. simply TERRIFYING how quickly we're moving. We fuckin' SANG ALL DAY! That's absurd! We started at 10am and ended with breaks at 10. There's no way one would be expected to HAVE a voice again that next morning, or later on that evening based on the rehearsal we had. It was NUTS. But it was fun, and it was exciting to see everyone in the same room together, and living co-habitationally...
And I'm falling asleep. *laughs* I'm certainly falling asleep. Right. Now. At the computer typing random syllables into the keyboard with my eyes shut, being so exhausted I don't know when to quit. But I will for tonight. Because today was juuust to much for me. And I don't know what time church is in the morning, and I'm pretty sure I'm skipping it.
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
See? That's what I just wrote falling asleep. Without even knowing it.
I was trying to think of what I learned, and I drifted off. I learned a lot today, about singing, sustaining breath, about people, about actually researching a Musical so you have a sense of what the hell the show is about... about some people's lack of that skill. About my own lack of everything that matters in musical theatre. Ugh.
Doubts. Just utter and confounded doubts about my ability to pull this mother load of a show off. My mind is full of them, but they have faith in me and my voice, and my body, and my potential, so I have to trust them on it. I just need some time to figure out everything right now.
Alas.
Goodnight!
My initial causes for concern: My Voice, and landing the role as a sophomore and people being slightly caddy and bitter towards me. Well. One was a cause for concern, but the other was not. My voice by the time this day was over was in okay-to-fine condition, but high-notes were completely lost. It was troubling, and it was horrific, and I'm glad I don't have the capacity to look inside my throat and see the mechanism, becuase if I showed my face in that part of town, they'd for sure shoo me out and curse and yell. I didn't destroy it like I usually do, when in fact I consciously took it easier than I could have for the beginning of the rehearsal and for the most part took care of it. I got a lot of positive feedback about my being Bobby, to be honest. People were okay with it.
I was scared. I was frightened something terrible when I heard that I got the part. In all honesty, I'm not vocally cut out for the part. I make myself cut out for the part with some stretch and strain here and there, but I'm not as gifted in the higher range as Taylor who can comfortably hit a High B sitting DOWN in his chair, (which is ridiculous). It takes my voice a looooong time to get to a point where it can do shit like that without thinking. Warming up properly, and carefully is incredibly touchy with my voice. I'm a belter, who only has a limited amount of Belt to cinch in a performance, and when it runs out, the rest of my voice seems to cascade down in quality as well unless I do things just right. It's rather strange, and there's no telling what my voice will choose to do on most days. But I'll tell you what it HAS to do. It has to be ready for this show. And it will be. There's no worry in that.
The rehearsal was pretty intense today. We went through the entire score singing every song, with every part whether we knew it or not, becuase we didn't really have a choice. We open in less than 4 weeks, and we've got one fuck-ton of work to do until then to be ready. The run of a show is always such a fast thing in my mind, and before it your normal 6 or 7 week process is over and it's opening night. But with this 4 week process, it's simply terrifying. simply TERRIFYING how quickly we're moving. We fuckin' SANG ALL DAY! That's absurd! We started at 10am and ended with breaks at 10. There's no way one would be expected to HAVE a voice again that next morning, or later on that evening based on the rehearsal we had. It was NUTS. But it was fun, and it was exciting to see everyone in the same room together, and living co-habitationally...
And I'm falling asleep. *laughs* I'm certainly falling asleep. Right. Now. At the computer typing random syllables into the keyboard with my eyes shut, being so exhausted I don't know when to quit. But I will for tonight. Because today was juuust to much for me. And I don't know what time church is in the morning, and I'm pretty sure I'm skipping it.
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
See? That's what I just wrote falling asleep. Without even knowing it.
I was trying to think of what I learned, and I drifted off. I learned a lot today, about singing, sustaining breath, about people, about actually researching a Musical so you have a sense of what the hell the show is about... about some people's lack of that skill. About my own lack of everything that matters in musical theatre. Ugh.
Doubts. Just utter and confounded doubts about my ability to pull this mother load of a show off. My mind is full of them, but they have faith in me and my voice, and my body, and my potential, so I have to trust them on it. I just need some time to figure out everything right now.
Alas.
Goodnight!
posted by Jared M. Brown at
12:20 AM
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