Stream of Consciousness Entry

Jared M. Brown
Acting Class
Stream of Consciousness

Wanting to go home for Christmas break is driving every decision here, leading me one day closer to seeing my mom who I miss more than anything. Seeing my boy, seeing my brother and sister and giving them a hug. I want to be held right now. Knowing that I can’t be held hurts so much though. I sit in bed at night unable to fall asleep because of all the crap filtering around in my mind with all the things I have to do yet in order to complete my day. I want rest. I want to naturally fall asleep when my head hits the pillow for Christ Sake. I’m mortally exhausted but I sit in bed for hours staring at the ceiling. I want to be cuddled with and caressed and loved physically. I want my boys. I want to be able to wake up refreshed and have even a slightly positive outlook on my day, not the depressed and cowarding point of view I live through now. When I think of classes all I want is to stay in bed and sit and stare at the walls at the pictures of home and imagine myself in the situation. I want some fucking decent sushi. I want to work at a job where they give me tips again. I want money. Money is in such scarcity but I want to spend more and more of it. When my family had money it was never spent on me, but all I want now is a shopping spree at Hanes and Mauritz or a gift certificate even to Macy’s so I can buy some decent audition shirts instead of the dark puke maroon shirts I have. I love having so many ties but despise not having any dress shirts to go with them, nor any decent pairs of slacks to dress up in. I want to be rich. I want to be 17 again. I want to be flexible. I want to be younger and more vulnerable. I want to fall asleep with someone I love beside me and wake up to their kisses.

Ruth Fletcher - Character Analysis...

Jared Michael Brown
Acting Class – Lank
Character Analysis

Well, I grew up in Poole, Kentucky where my mother and father were born and grew up, and I’ve never lived anywhere else. Poole is a small town about 25 minutes south of Henderson, KY where I was trained as a surgical technologist while I was taking care of my other siblings. Back then you didn’t need to go to college for a career, so I never thought to apply at any of the Universities, I just thought of going straight into the field of nursing, and I was able to be trained with room for advancement. Hell, I never got out of it, I loved it so much. And for thirty years I was stationed at the Methodist Hospital in Henderson, got married, and had 4 children.

After thirty years of working in that intense atmosphere, because the ER is pretty much the most intense atmosphere to work in, I thought, well I should probably be done with this, so I retired for a few years and worked on the house in Poole. I worked at growing my garden, fixing up the house little by little, and finally meeting some of my neighbors. I had held such strange hours that I wasn’t ever able to get to know my neighbors at all. Well, still having ties to the Hospital allowed me to take little jobs here and there delivering food and medicine to elderly patients who were fortunate enough to be at home, so I would go and visit people, and some of them ended up being right down the block from me, how about that, huh?
I love working in my garden, and I love baking, in fact (after this… whatever it happens to be) I’m going to go home and bake 50 pies for my church’s autumn social that’s coming up back in Henderson, at United Methodist. I’m making chocolate crème pies, every single one of them, because they go so quickly and they always complain if I don’t bring enough of one kind, so I’m just baking 50 chocolate crème pies so everyone will be happy. I’m guilty of eating some of the batter though, I have to confess. But you know, it keeps me happy. And you know, I don’t have to worry about going running or exercising, just as long as I keep working in my garden, I figure in about a year I can loose 10 or so pounds that I want to, so extra batter is no biggie.
Well, anyway, my daughter who lives here in Evansville works at St. Mary’s and she told me that the ER at St. Mary’s was looking for some people who were experienced in surgical procedure to stand in for a few weeks. Well a few weeks turned into 7 more years, so I was out of retirement, and came back in! Kind of crazy how life works like that. You’d think after so long in a hospital I’d get tired of it, but I haven’t yet. I love it, and I love the people there, too.

Fall Break - No Class

I slept most of fall break, and rode my bike around. Yeah, I honestly didn't do much...

And it was glorious.

Departmental Post Mortem...

I'm still alive! And how grateful that I am! I did juuust fine on my auditions.

Notes from Patti:
My first piece was, "fun, animated, believable."
My song was, "fabulous."

In general she responded:

1. See Andrea @ Kleins on Vogel for Shape to hair
2. Appearance: Good - a good polished look and nice looking, but so dark, makes you so thin.
3. Resume: Why Michael? I like Jared Brown. But Good Layout!

She included a smattering of my resume along with her evaluation, which is much appreciated. Lots of marks that I'll work on integrating into my next run of resumes.

Notes from Christia:
My first piece was, "Okay - got a lot of profile - keep remembering why you say this, what drives you foward?"
My song was, "Nice, easy beginning, a little scratchiness on top. Beautiful tone. Perfect for audition."

My contrast between pieces was, "good."
My variety / interest was, "good."
My appearance was, "good."


Notes from Lank:
My first piece: "Could you do that if the room wasn't carpeted? Keep finding the emotional connection to the work / character. Piece needs to go somewhere."
My song: "Great voice! Now, connect to relationship -- where are the notes coming from? Home to you ---- what is he longing for?"

In General he responded:
Good work! Continue to find honesty.


Notes from Lutz:
My first piece was, "[a] Good piece. Well presented. Maybe better if you made the stroller downstage of you so that you would be more open to us."
My song was, "Good. Nicely Presented and well sung."

In general he responded:
Try to show a bit more emotional connection in your work. AND on my resume he put nicely done / good format, but commented on the fact that I included my middle name...


Overall, I'm happy. A hell of a lot better than I had done last year, that's for sure.

Well, that was interesting...

So this morning I got a pretty early start to my day, and I have to say that I was really quite excited about it. I went and got breakfast at Union and headed over about 20 mintues before 9 for class. Got the mats out to the middle of the floor, and started stretching. About 15 minutes went by and I remained the only one in the rehearsal room downstairs... It was getting pretty close to 9, and Jerica at least is usually there 10 minutes beforehand... Oh well, just getting a late start to the day, I guess.

Now granted, today were departmental auditions over in Union and I imagined that a few people wouldn't be attending class because of that, but the ENTIRE class? Something was up.

I had vaguely remembered that Christia had said that there indeed WAS class this morning so we could show our fight scenes that we've been working on...

9 o'clock rolls around... No one. I travel up to Barb Dial's office and ask if Christia is going to have class still.

"Why would she have class today? She's in auditions all day..."
"Oh, well, I thought that she was going to get out for an hour for Acting..." I asked.
"Uh... Probably not, honey. Sorry."

Spoken with a delicate tone as if to subtly say, "Jared... come on, you're stupid."

And indeed I was. But I had an idea.

My departmental audition wasn't until 2:00 that day, but I didn't have anything to do until then and I would have been missing Dance again to audition for 20 minutes. So I ran quickly back to my dorm, blowing horse lips and stretching my mouth out furiously going up the stairs to my room and changed into my audition outfit. I ran over to Union and asked if there were any open spots this morning, knowing full well that at least one person misses their spot...

Much to my luck, Paul Kite flubbed up royally and wrote down a wrong time, so I got his spot. I performed my pieces (A song and a monologue. "I'd Rather Be Sailing" from A New Brain, and a monologue from "Conversations With My Father.") much to my surprise that early in the morning, quite well. I exited with pride in myself as I faced my fear of just getting in there and performing and being flexible. I was ready to go! And I made sure of that. And I'm grateful that they were able to squeeze me in there so I didn't have to dread the rest of the day waiting to go for 5 minutes and then leave. And you know? For the first time, it was fun. I was prepared and willing to do a great job.

I can't wait for the responses.